第45章

  he says, aghast.
  “you had no right! no right to go saying those things about
  me!” i shout at him.
  now the elevators open and the whole crew is there, effie,
  haymitch, cinna, and portia.
  “what’s going on?” says effie, a note of hysteria in her
  voice. “did you fall?”
  “after she shoved me,” says peeta as effie and cinna help
  him up.
  haymitch turns on me. “shoved him?”
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  “this was your idea, wasn’t it? turning me into some kind
  of fool in front of the entire country?” i answer.
  “it was my idea,” says peeta, wincing as he pulls spikes of
  pottery from his palms. “haymitch just helped me with it.”
  “yes, haymitch is very helpful. to you!” i say.
  “you are a fool,” haymitch says in disgust. “do you think he
  hurt you? that boy just gave you something you could never
  achieve on your own.”
  “he made me look weak!” i say.
  “he made you look desirable! and let’s face it, you can use
  all the help you can get in that department. you were about as
  romantic as dirt until he said he wanted you. now they all do.
  you’re all they’re talking about. the star-crossed lovers from
  district twelve!” says haymitch.
  “but we’re not star-crossed lovers!” i say.
  haymitch grabs my shoulders and pins me against the wall.
  “who cares? it’s all a big show. it’s all how you’re perceived.
  the most i could say about you after your interview was that
  you were nice enough, although that in itself was a small mi-
  racle. now i can say you’re a heartbreaker. oh, oh, oh, how the
  boys back home fall longingly at your feet. which do you think
  will get you more sponsors?”
  the smell of wine on his breath makes me sick. i shove his
  hands off my shoulders and step away, trying to clear my
  head.
  cinna comes over and puts his arm around me. “he’s right,
  katniss.”
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  i don’t know what to think. “i should have been told, so i
  didn’t look so stupid.”
  “no, your reaction was perfect. if you’d known, it wouldn’t
  have read as real,” says portia.
  “she’s just worried about her boyfriend,” says peeta gruffly,
  tossing away a bloody piece of the urn.
  my cheeks burn again at the thought of gale. “i don’t have a
  boyfriend.”
  “whatever,” says peeta. “but i bet he’s smart enough to
  know a bluff when he sees it. besides you didn’t say you loved
  me. so what does it matter?”
  the words are sinking in. my anger fading. i’m torn now be-
  tween thinking i’ve been used and thinking i’ve been given an
  edge. haymitch is right. i survived my interview, but what was
  i really? a silly girl spinning in a sparkling, dress. giggling. the
  only moment of any substance i hail was when i talked about
  prim. compare that with thresh, his silent, deadly power, and
  i’m forgettable. silly and sparkly and forgettable. no, not en-
  tirely forgettable, i have my eleven in training.
  but now peeta has made me an object of love. not just his.
  to hear him tell it i have many admirers. and if the audience
  really thinks we’re in love . . . i remember how strongly they
  responded to his confession. star-crossed lovers. haymitch is
  right, they eat that stuff up in the capitol. suddenly i’m wor-
  ried that i didn’t react properly.
  “after he said he loved me, did you think i could be in love
  with him, too?” i ask.
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  “i did,” says portia. “the way you avoided looking at the
  cameras, the blush.”
  they others chime in, agreeing.
  “you’re golden, sweetheart. you’re going to have sponsors
  lined up around the block,” says haymitch.
  i’m embarrassed about my reaction. i force myself to ac-
  knowledge peeta. “i’m sorry i shoved you.”
  “doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “although it’s technically illeg-
  al.”
  “are your hands okay?”