分节阅读_85

  rning. i shook my head, incredulous, as i opehe
  unlocked door ahe ignition.
  there iece of er folded o in and closed
  the door before i uritte
  script.
  be safe.
  the sourug thtened me. i laughed at myself.
  when i got home, the hahe door was locked, the dead bolt
  u as i'd left it this m. i straight to
  the laundry room. it looked just the same as i'd left it, too. i dug for
  my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. empty. maybe i'd
  huer all, i thought, shaking my head.
  following the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to mike, i called
  jessi the pretense of wishi the dan she
  offered the same wish for my day with edward, i told her about the
  . she was more disappoihan really necessary for a
  third-party observer to be. i said goodbye quickly after that.
  charlie was abse dinner, worried over something at work, i
  guessed, or maybe a basketball game, or maybe he was just really enjoying
  the lasagna — it was hard to tell with charlie.
  ”you know, dad…” i begao his reverie.
  ”what's that, bell?”
  ”i think yht about seattle. i think i'll wait until jessica or
  someone else e.”
  ”oh,” he said, surprised. ”oh, okay. so, do you waay home?”
  ”no, dad, don't ge your plans. i've got a million things to do…
  homework, lauo go to the library and the grocery store.
  i'll be in and out all day… you go and have fun.”
  ”are you sure?”
  ”absolutely, dad. besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish
  — we're down to a two, maybe three years' supply.”
  ”you're sure easy to live with, bella.” he smiled.
  ”i could say the same thing about you,” i said, laughing. the sound of my
  laughter was off, but he didice. i felt so guilty for
  deg him that i almost took edward's advi where i
  would be. almost.
  after dinner, i folded d moved ahrough the dryer.
  u was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. my mind
  defioo much free time, and it was getting out of trol. i
  fluctuated betatio it was very nearly pain,
  and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. i had t
  myself that i'd made my d i wasn't going ba it. i pulled
  his of my pocket much more ofteo absorb the
  two small words he'd writtes me to be safe, i told myself again
  and again. i would just hold ohat, i
  desire would wihers. and what was my other choice — to
  y life? intolerable. besides, since i'd e to forks, it
  really seemed like my life was about him.
  but a tihe baind worried, w if it would
  hurt very much… if it ended badly.
  i was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. i
  knew i was far too stressed to sleep, so i did something i'd never done
  before. i deliberately took unneedie — the kind that
  k food eight hours. i normally wouldn't e that
  type of behavior iomorrow would be pliough
  without me being loopy from sleep deprivation ohing else.
  while i waited fs to ki, i dried my hair till it
  eccably straight, and fussed over ear tomorrow. with
  everythihe m, i finally lay i hyper;
  i 't stop twitg. i got up ahrough my shoebox of cds
  until i fouion of 's that on very
  quietly and then lay down agaiing individual
  parts of my body. somewhere in the middle of that exercise, the cold
  pills took effed i gladly sank into uness.
  i woke early, havi soundly ahanks to my
  gratuit use. though i was well rested, i slipped right bato
  the same hezy from the night before. i dressed in a rush