分节阅读_145

  to my ear. my joints were frozen with terror — i
  't unbend my fio drop it.
  i ko think, but my head was filled with the sound of my
  mother's paicked by while i fought for trol.
  slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of
  pain. to plan. for i had oo the mirrored
  room and die. i had no guarahio keep my mother
  alive. i ly hope that james would be satisfied with winning the
  game, that beating edward would be enough. despair gripped me; there was
  no way tain, nothing i could offer or withhold that fluence
  him. but i still had o try.
  i pushed the terror back as well as i y deade. it did
  no good to waste time agoe. i had to think clearly,
  because alid jasper were waiting for me, ahem was
  absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.
  i was sudde jasper was gone. if he had beeo feel
  my anguish i five minutes, how could i have kept them from
  being suspicious? i choked back the dread, the aried to stifle
  it. i 't afford it now. i didn't knoould return.
  i trated on my escape. i had to hope that my familiarity with the
  airport would turn the odds in my favor. someho alice
  away…
  i khe other room waiting for me, curious. but i had to
  deal with in private, before jasper was back.
  i had to accept that i wouldn't see edward again, not eve
  glimpse of his face to carry with me to the mirror room. i was going to
  hurt him, and i 't say goodbye. i let the waves of torture wash
  over me, have their way for a time. thehem back, too, and
  went to face alice.
  the only expression i anage was a dull, dead look. i saw her alarm
  and i didn't wait for her to ask. i had just o and i'd never
  manage improvisation now.
  ”my mom was worried, she wao e. but it's okay, i ced
  her to stay away.” my voice was lifeless.
  ”we'll make sure she's fine, bella, don't worry.”
  i turned away; i 't let her see my face.
  my eye fell on a blahe hotel statiohe desk. i went
  to it slolan f. there e there, too. that was
  good.
  ”alice,” i asked slowly, with, keeping my voice level. ”if i
  write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? leave it at the
  house, i mean.”
  ”sure, bella.” her voice was careful. she e ing apart at
  the seams. i had to keep my emotioer trol.
  i went intaio the little bedside table
  to write.
  ”edward,” i wrote. my hand was shakiers were hardly legible.
  i love you. i am so sorry. he has my mom, ary. i know it
  may not work. i am so very, very sorry.
  don't be angry with alid jasper. if i get away from them it will be
  a miracle. tell them thank you for me. alice especially, please.
  and please, please, don't e after him. that's what he wants. i think.
  i 't bear it if ao be hurt bee, especially you.
  please, this is the only thing i ask you now. for me.
  i love yive me.
  bella
  i folded the letter carefully, ahe eually
  he would find it. i only hoped he would uand, ao me just
  this once.
  and then i carefully sealed away my heart.
  ===========================================================================
  22. hide-and-seek
  it had takehan i'd thought — all the terror, the
  despair, the shattering of my heart. the miig by more
  slowly than usual. jasper still hadn't e ba i returo
  alice. i was afraid to be ih her, afraid that she
  would guess… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason.
  i would have thought i was far beyoy to be surprised, my
  thoughts tortured and u i rised when i saw alit
  over the desk, grippih two hands.
  ”al